The wait is finally over everyone. Biden fans and Democrat loyalist have been waiting patiently for months on who Joe would choose. With candidates like Senator Elizabeth Warren(D-MA) or Senator Kamala Harris(D-CA). Maybe even a surprise pick like Hilary Clinton. Considering the great choices, where could Biden possibly go wrong? Who could truly help him beat that big carrot named Donald Trump? With any of those choices or even a Stacey Abrams, Biden should have a better chance at getting a Democrat back in the White House than Clinton did in 2016. Right? That is pure woman power boosting his campaign after all which should garner plenty of votes from the feminists sector of the Democratic party. Since there are no cons to these candidates, lets take a quick look at the pros from them.
PROS
Ummmmmmmmmmm..............
Okay, so maybe there aren't any pros but being a woman is clearly enough. And luckily we were able to get an interview with Biden a couple weeks before his VP pick:
Topic Talk: What qualities were you looking for in your VP choice?
Biden: Well, long ago, probably about uhh... 50 years ago. They sold these sodas I liked and there was this fluffy puppy there. And.. and.. there was this time I watched a hubcap on a parked car and it was spinning and I thought to myself, "I really like that."
TT: Uhh... okay. So how were the interviews? Were they tough?
Biden: You ever watch the show "Whammy!," I think thats what it was called. That little red thing was just wild and people would get stuff dropped on them or even win money. And as president, I promise to protect the right of that little red dude.
TT: So the interviews were setup like the game show, "Whammy!?"
Biden: What interview? I don't have any job available for anyone. I actually just hired some illegals from the Home Depot though to do some yard work.
TT: You hired illegals? Don't you think that will look bad for the campaign?
Biden: Umm... nah. They were basically useless though. Turns out, they were some mannequins from the Old Navy. Man those things are realistic.
TT; Uhhh...
Biden: You know the weird thing about those mannequins? I had went to the store to buy some bubble gum and I had left the stove on at home. So I went down the street to the McDonalds to get a burger and I put some ketchup on that thing and WOW... my car was so shiny afterwards.
TT: Right.. well sir, good luck on the VP pick, we will talk to you after your decision.
Jump back to now, the time has finally come and Biden has chosen his running mate for the presidential election. Millions of Americans just waiting to hear a name called. So many guessing Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, Hilary Clinton, Stacey Abrams, Amy Klobuchar. But when Biden got to the podium, he decided to shock the nation.. no, shock the WORLD.
Biden: "Hello, America. I am up here today to pick the VP that will join me at the chocolate factory. And no, it will not be Charlie. Not after the Fizzy Lifting Drink scandal. No, no, no. Instead, I... uh... I am going to pick my great friend, Flappy.
The crowd was silent. Why? Because Joe Biden, the man running against Donald Trump to be PRESIDENT of the United States, just chose a pigeon. Yes, a pigeon. But I was able to talk to him afterwards and actually was able to get a pretty clear answer from him:
TT: So why Flappy?
Biden: The other day I was sitting at a park bench.I was just sitting there and Flappy landed near me. We struck up a conversation and he just seemed so smart. So many great ideas. From the economy to healthcare to energy. Flappy just really seemed to know his stuff. So we snagged him from the park and I took him home. And he couldn't be a better choice. He even has a great voice. I am serious, you should hear the man sing. It is absolutely beautiful. I told him he should go be on Americas Got Talent.
According to Bidens team, they were stunned by the decision to choose Flappy. They had expected Biden to choose Senator Warren, but instead it was the pigeon they figured was just a pet. One even said, "It is a pigeon. A f**king PIGEON!" Another staffer was overheard saying, "Well, it was fun while it lasted, but now that pigeon has a better shot at winning then presidency over Joe." The Biden team let us know that Flappy will be holding a press conference later this week and will not be available for questions until then. They also informed us that he will be on the road beginning in June. Biden himself believes that Flappy will really relate to the other winged animals in the U.S. and think their votes will help him win the election.
None of the other candidates wanted to comment on the decision as they were all clearly confused and angry. We were eventually able to get an answer out of Clinton. She responded with some encouraging words, "Someone is going to commit suicide for this... I mean... good luck to Flappy. He has our full support."
*****This story will not be updated. This is a fictional story for fun. It is not meant to be used as news, unless it is a prank. You can stick around for updates if you want, but you will be waiting a very long time.*****